Becoming

becoming me.

becoming the woman my younger self would’ve hoped to become.

becoming more comfortable with boundaries– self-made boundaries as well as boundaries others have set with me.

being more selective with my time, my energy.

social media becoming easier to take breaks from.

becoming easier to spend time alone.

becoming easier to acknowledge when others spew out their insecurities and fears onto what I’m trying to accomplish with my dreams.

becoming easier not to take everything so personal.

becoming more confident in my faith and my ability to get things done- because like a lot of my friends have put it, “I always find a way.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Things aren’t perfect in my life right now, but I think I’m at peace with things. At peace because I’m protecting my own personal peace more than ever, and then of course I gotta give credit to Jesus, lol. A lot of things have changed drastically for me over these summer months (more blogs to come on these topics). But instead of “going with the flow,” which in my opinion gives way to let your emotions rule you and not your mind, I’ve learned to accept things how they are and to notice the way I act/respond to things. If it makes me feel anxious, for example, I analyze why and take steps back if necessary.

I’ve lost a whopping 10lbs in just one month from my elite fuel plan over at lougarsperformace.com (!!!). As someone who has, and still does to an extent, struggle with emotional eating, this is a major win for me. I just had an ‘aha’ moment this week (which kinda inspired me to write this post) about how far I’ve come… not just physically but also mentally.

If someone would’ve asked me about track two years ago, they would’ve saw a girl who was stressed tf out about “making it” or “getting signed” to such and such company. Now, I have more of a calming aura about me. If I reach my goals in Athletics, then that’s great. But whether I achieve those or not doesn’t define who I am as a person. I’ve found purpose both inside and outside of this sport and I think that’s what keeps me at bay, so to speak.

Do I still have high goals I want to reach? Hell yes. I’m even at the point where some of these said goals have been slightly talked down by family members. But I know it’s nothing personal. Not everyone was given my vision, humbly speaking. I’ve always wanted to get some tattoos and found myself randomly free a few weekends ago…

1) “Don’t wait for someone to bring you flowers, plant your own garden.”

This version of this quote has always stuck with me since I first discovered it a few years ago. I feel like I’m finally stepping into this mantra as I am becoming more comfortable in who I am and what makes me unique. If you wait for others to see and applaud your efforts, you’ll live your life in misery. I don’t want that for me anymore. Affirmation from others is always nice and encouraging, but it shouldn’t be a make or break in your life. I “plant my own garden” by celebrating myself more often, such as taking myself out on solo dates just to enjoy my own company.

1 thought on “Becoming”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s